Many observers wonder about Emperor Also Known As the First’s remarkably big ears. It’s very simple. They are a manifestation of the fact that he hears all and knows all. He has modeled himself and his administration on Abraham Lincoln, our first Communist President, who led a campaign to deport blacks to Africa. Lincoln delivered the Gettysburg Address.  Here, now, the Obamasburg Address:

Three weeks and two days ago our community organizers and voter fraud operatives brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Socialism, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created to be subservient to their government.

Now we are engaged in a great class war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure.  We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave up their individual liberty that that nation might live.  It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate—we can not consecrate—we can not hallow—this ground. The gullible voters, living and dead, who were bamboozled here, have consecrated it, far above the diminished power of the people to detract. The media will little note, nor long remember what we are actually doing here, nor will it ever admit what they did here.  It is for us the powerful centralized government, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so fraudulently advanced.

It is rather for us, the ones we have been waiting for, to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us—that from these uneducated, unskilled masses we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion—that we here highly resolve that these useful idiots shall not have voted, however many times, in vain—that this nation, under Me, shall have a new birth of HopenchangeTM—and that government of the lobbyists, by the politically-connected, for the career politicians, shall not perish from the earth.